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To help protect children against abuse, children need to be taught that they can say no to touching, and that their "no" will be respected. Caressing a child’s leg (even a child as young as 3) can make them feel uncomfortable and overstimulated, and they may feel much more comfortable with a hug, or kiss on the cheek.įocusing on a child’s private parts, such as you described your husband doing in showing off his daughter’s bottom can send a message to her that any adult can touch or show off her body. Children are way too young and emotionally immature to be able to handle feeling overstimulated sexually. Parents also need to be aware that they must be careful not to overstimulate a child’s sexual feelings. This kind of overstimulation causes children to become cranky and overtired. Most parents are careful that their children are not overstimulated in many different ways and in many areas of their lives, such as too much loud music, too much TV, too much food, too much play and activity. Your husband may not be aware of this, and so not understand the effects of his behaviors on your children’s feelings. It is often hard for some adults and parents to realize that even at age 3 children are sexual beings and experience sexual feelings. Yes, perhaps your husband is just a dad who loves his children a whole bunch and uses touch to demonstrate his affection, but if his behaviors raise questions for you, now is a good time to address safety in your home. It’s never an overreaction to worry about a child’s safety – even when it concerns loved one’s behaviors. Whenever an adult has any concern – whether it’s a gut feeling, an observation or other experience – with another adult’s behaviors with children, it is always wise to talk about it.